Hey Chris,
Can you tell me how I can be more assertive when I am around people? Even though I always knew that people aren’t always trustworthy yet I still act very passive and submissive just to avoid trouble.
But this causes me to get walked all over. I am the type of person people can walk all over and I wanna know how to change that.
Signed,
No more Ms. Passive Submissive
~~~~~~~~~~
Dear No more Ms. Passive Submissive,
Let me first applaud you for your signature line…”no more.”
In anything that you want to change, the first step is to acknowledge that you’re DONE with what’s holding you back.
Yay you!
Now there is a statement that I want to hone in on, in your opening…”people aren’t always trustworthy.”
While that may be your experience, I want to invite you to shift your view to some people you’ve experienced…vs. “people.” If you think in general people aren’t trustworthy, this will impact your ability to know whether someone is a real friend or undercover foe.
Just focus on “being in the moment” and reserving judgment to determine how you want to interact with someone while, at the same time, protecting your wellbeing.
You also said that you’re passive, submissive to avoid trouble and yet trouble still finds you and you get walked over.
Yeah, unfortunately that’s about right.
If you change who you are to avoid “trouble” then you’ve opened the door to anyone who now knows where to cause “trouble” and get away with it.
Here’s the bottom line my friend.
- I KNOW you’re worth being on the planet.
- I KNOW you’re stronger than you think you are.
- I KNOW that standing strong in your own brilliant light may be a problem for others, but it is their problem and their opportunity.
Ok, some practical steps before I close.
If you journal, (and if you don’t — start) I want you to write down the times where you were NOT passive and submissive and how it made you feel.
This could be an experience of ordering your food exactly as you like it.
- Disputing a charge on a bill.
- Asking for more salt, ketchup, lettuce, tomato, etc. with your meal.
- Even doing something proactive for someone else, like opening or holding a door for them, hitting the button to hold the elevator, letting someone go ahead in traffic…
These are the actions of someone who is confident and comfortable in their own skin, standing in your own brilliant light.
And something tells me, you know what I mean.
Start journaling these experiences and let the confidence that I KNOW is within you, swell and show you just how amazing you are.
You got this…
No more…
~ Fear nothing. Love everything.
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Thank you.