I’d like to to break out of self sabotaging and create the life I dream of…
Is it possible Chris?
Signed,
Daydream believer
~~~~~~~~~~
Ah, Daydream believer…one of my favorite “Monkees” song….
In all this time working with clients and writing about self sabotage, I actually believe that it’s not something we “break out” of, or escape.
It’s something we manage…
We manage it in the context of how important the “thing” is, that we don’t want to sabotage.
Let me give you an example.
I have always focused on my “next” career steps. When I get a new position, I immediately start to look for the next one. It’s something I learned early on in my career. Therefore, I don’t allow managers or leaders to define for me where I should go. I know where I want to end up and I simply stay open to the shortest and fastest path to get there.
If I didn’t stay focused or if I allow someone else to define it for me, I would immediately sabotage it, because it isn’t what I want…it’s what THEY want.
See what I mean?
Which brings me to the last part of your question…”create the life I dream of.”
What is that life, Daydream?
- Have you clearly and lovingly decided what that is?
- Have you embraced all of what it will mean for you?
- How much movement have you made toward having it?
And finally…and I mean this with the best of intentions…
Is it yours?
Indulge me another example, please…
I have been a certified professional coach for over 17 years. When I began the journey to learn how to coach and to “be” a coach, I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve had teachers and other coaches tell me that I can “create the life of my dreams.”
When I asked them what that meant, they instantly defined it in terms of what THEIR dream life would look like… Coach 24×7, anywhere in the world, tons of clients, lots of money, traveling, speaking and writing.
Well heck that sounded good to me!
Except, I didn’t want to be available to clients 24×7. I enjoy working with them, but I DO want to have a life too!
I didn’t want to be in constant pursuit of more and more clients.
I loved the money, travel, speaking and writing piece, but what was involved there and how long would it take? Well, the answer to that question involved re-enrolling in their courses…
You know, so that I could make THEIR dreams come true.
Yeah, so I had to decide what was the life of MY dreams. I’m so much closer to it now and it looks NOTHING like they had suggested I could live. I have more freedom and less stress than I did trying to pursue their path and I’m far happier.
By the way, I would NEVER have seen this kind of life for myself…but I created it and wouldn’t sabotage it for the world.
I think you know where this is going…smile
So Daydream believer…begin to get clear on what’s really important to and for you, as a start.
Make absolutely sure, that it’s YOURS.
Allow for bumps and adjustments in the road.
Trust that all that is meant for you will be yours.
And then start moving towards it, when you feel inspired. (this last one is CRITICAL)
Know that when it’s what you truly and deeply want, you are less likely to sabotage yourself.
If you do, it’s because you’ve taken your eye off the end result or are resisting the bumps and adjustments that are needed to help you smoothly arrive at your destination.
Keep on dreaming and always, always…believe.
~ Fear nothing. Love everything.
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Thank you.