Conversations: Set me free

Help me out here Chris,

How can I stop thinking about what others think about me? I keep making up stories.

Signed,

Set me free

~~~~~~~~~~

Hi set me free,

This is both simple and complex…so hang in with me.

Simply put, we’re part of each other’s journey and experience on the planet. We learn and teach each other about what’s important to us and what isn’t. And if you REALLY want to get philosophical about it…we’re all deeply connected to how this “life” thing evolves.

So it’s not “unnatural” to care what others think of you…

The best option you have is to take on what you feel helps you and leave the rest. You are NOT obligated to take on everything anyone thinks of you.

When considering what other folks think about you, you may find that some things confirm what you want to be or don’t want to be. You may discover some really cool aspects about yourself that you’re simply overlooking.

The key here is perspective and the understanding that this is coming from THEIR limited perception of you. Since we only share what we want people to know about us. that perspective really gets limited. Their “thoughts” of you are what YOU have decided to show them.

That’s the simple part.

It gets complex, depending on the context in which you’re taking on THEIR thoughts.

  • Is it because you want to belong?
  • Is it because you trust their input?
  • Is it because you want to be liked, even loved?

Or your relationship…

  • Are they family?
  • Are they close friends?
  • Are they relatives?
  • Are they coworkers?

You can see, that depending on the context and their relationship with you, their thoughts about you may or may not cause you to create your stories.

While a bit more complex, I would argue the same approach applies.

Look at it from the perspective that they really only know what you reveal to them. That in no way obligates you to share more or less with them. It only obligates you to decide what you want to take on and what you’ll leave behind.

Secondarily, always remember that people bring their unique life experience to the thoughts they have of others. If their approach to life is to listen to every bit of criticism they’ve been offered, then they will expect the same of you.

It’s not accurate or fair, but it tells you something about who they are.

Finally, always make up stories that uplift, inspire and motivate you, instead of what you “think” they are thinking. These are the kinds of stories that help you show a different side of who you are, than what they are thinking and that will leave them questioning their own judgment.

I hope that helps, set me free.

Take what you want…leave the rest behind…and remember, only good stories are told here.

~ Let life love you!

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