Hi Chris,
What is one piece of advice you would give someone who needs to improve their communication skills?
Signed,
Skillfully speaking
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Hi Skillfully speaking!
You haven’t said what part of communications is your focus for improvement.
So I’ll suggest two, that may be helpful.
- Communicating to be clear.
- Communicating to be clearly heard.
Communicating to be clear.
This one requires you to “prep.” If you were going to give a speech, enter a negotiations (for where to have lunch/dinner), or to have a heart-to-heart with someone, you want to prepare. You want to think about what you want to say, how you want to respond, etc.
This is also one of those things in life, where you can build “muscle memory.” Meaning, that if you make communicating clearly a way of life, it will come more easily in the moment.
For important conversations, not that they all aren’t, but you know what I mean…for important ones…prepare.
Think from the end.
What is the outcome you want after having this conversation?
How important is it, for all concerned, to be clear here?
Then, you may want to write down some key points, so that you don’t miss any. Perhaps you want to rehearse with someone you trust, to see if they “get” what your trying to communicate, clearly.
Again, this will become second nature, if you invest in the “prep” time up front.
I would also add, that when you remember who you’re talking to, how they need to be communicated to, you’ll also find a way to be super clear.
Communicating to be heard
If you’re asking about improving your communications skills because someone has suggested it to you; or you don’t think that people are listening to you when you speak, I can help.
Both of these aspects, for me, come from recognizing and acknowledging who is across the table from us. We often communicate in a way that “we” understand what we’re saying and can’t figure out why “they” don’t get it.
Here’s a real life, often experienced example.
You’re ready to buy a car. You do your research, talk to people, read reviews, and see the car all over the road calling to you. You KNOW what you want, how much it should cost and are ready to walk in and close the deal — quickly and smoothly.
What happens?
You walk in and a salesperson puts on his “salesperson” communication earbuds and they “talk” at you. They don’t ask you questions that would reveal what you know, or how prepared you are to close the deal. In fact, their whole plan is to get you to finance your purchase, once they’ve convinced you of the value of the car (which you already knew). So they are simply communicating to be clearly heard, not necessarily to be clear.
This is NOT to say that all car salesmen are like this. I’ve walked out of dealerships, because I knew they were just talking to hear themselves talk. I’ve also worked with some incredible salespeople who remembered that I’m a customer, not a commission.
This is simply an example and reminder to be sure to remember —always— who you’re talking to and acknowledge that they may need a different approach to communications, in order to hear you.
When someone suggests you improve your communications skills, it’s because they aren’t hearing you at the level of understanding that they need. If you’re well versed in a topic, you’ll leave out the basics because you know it so well. Or it could be that THEY know it as well or better. So just as with the car salesman, you want to find out what they already know and start from there. Then they’ll be willing to hear you, clearly.
So Skillfully speaking, in a nutshell…
Focus on who you’re speaking to, first, and your communications will be both clear and clearly heard.
Good luck!
~ Find the gift!
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