Yeah, so Chris…
I didn’t grow up in a very vocal family. Lots of whispers and secrets. I was taught not to allow my emotions to get the “better of me.”
You know, hold it in at all costs.
It screwed up some really good relationships with women, who didn’t know I really cared and friends who saw me as aloof and untrustworthy.
I recently saw some quotes that hit home. I wonder if they are truth or basic baloney…
What’s your take on these?
“When you refuse to feel an emotion, you create blocks like dams restricting then flow of water.” ~ Panache Desai
“Let your emotions flow through you and become free.” ~ Panache Desai
Could this really help me deal with my emotions?
Signed,
Emotion-starved
~~~~~~~~~~
My dear emotion-starved,
I feel you…I grew up in a similar environment.
There was a commercial whose tagline summed it up best…”never let them see you sweat.” So if you hold it all in, they don’t know how to get to you.
Holding in your emotions is helpful if you’re a card player, then you wouldn’t need the “shades” to hide your delight or disappointment.
If you’re a regular Joe or Jill, like you and me, it can cause problems. Not just in our relationships with other people, but in our relationship with ourselves.
You see, we start to turn this emotionless behavior on ourself.
We don’t acknowledge or want to acknowledge how we really feel, so we convince ourselves that “it’s ok, I didn’t need that person in my life” or “it’s really their problem, not mine.”
Sound familiar?
See, told you I’ve been there…
So that’s where we start. We have to decide that we’re not going to starve ourself emotionally. In turn it will give us the experience we need to give it to others.
Look, I’m not going to say this will be easy, but it will be worth it. Looking at our own feelings, emotions and reactions can scare the crap out of us. But we’re so freaking worth it.
Where to begin?
Whether you’re into journaling or not, I want to suggest that you write down the times where showing emotion, WORKED for you.
- It could be just hanging with friends and laughing out loud at something.
- Seeing an old friend and embracing them joyously.
- Watching fireworks, sunrises, sunsets and letting the emotion of it fill your heart.
- Seeing a child smile, an animal welcome you or couples sharing a tender moment.
And in all of these instances, in those moments, let yourself deeply feel it as you write it and remember it.
Why do I want you to write it down?
When we write something down, we experience it all over again.
You can sit think about and recall it…but when the moment is gone, so is that memory.
Writing it down gives you a physical opportunity to review, recall and experience it as if it were happening again.
When you’re ready to embrace experiences that give you amazing emotions you’ll be more comfortable “feeling” them with and for others.
Go outside Emotion-starved and look up…just enjoying the experience of a day can do wonders for feeling how incredibly special you are.
And THAT is where you can begin….
~ Fear nothing. Love everything.
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Thank you.